Three distinguishing or admirable qualities

Okay, let me preface this by saying that the last post actually helped a lot, even just in the act of writing it. Okay so between that sentence and this one my mom confronted me about said post and we agreed that is was fine, because it is. I think largely because of just writing all that down. Anyways, here's what I ended up saying:

I have a very… distinct sense of humour. I like dumb jokes, and visual gags, and terrible puns. You might have noticed that I’ve made a few joking comments in these responses. I’ll leave it up to you to decide if they are funny. A quality that I find admirable is my open-mindedness. I enjoy trying and learning new things, and aim to never dismiss anything just out of hand. Again, you might have picked up on that elsewhere in my responses, what with all the learning and the exploring. Third, I have the best hair. It is black and curly and the swirls go in different directions depending on what side they are on. My hair is also noticeably long, going a little past my shoulders. I should probably cut it, to be honest. Anyways, I would say those are my three most distinguishing and admirable qualities.

And I meant every word of that.

I am the worst person

No, really. I am my least favorite out of all the people I know. I never do anything. I never go anywhere. I can't even bring myself to make any interesting descriptions of myself. I have tried and failed at more things than I have tried and succeeded at. My life is the easiest of any I've heard of, and I still manage to only barely stumble through it. None of my friends are dead. None of my relatives have recently died. I get good grades. There is no logical reason for me to be sad. But I am. I'm just worthless.

I'm applying to colleges this year. It's not fun. It's not fun for anyone, though. I'm not special. Anyways, I am looking into everywhere I'm applying to and they all want people with direction and creativity and smarts and tenacity and perseverance and uniqueness and other things that are not me and I don't know what to do. One of the questions for me was, "List your three most distinguishing or most admirable qualities." I couldn't think of any. I still can't. I am the most bland, useless pile of nothing ever to disgrace the earth.

Yesterday I met a guy named Amos. My dad and I gave him a ride home from a choir concert. He is the least me person I can think of. He is in basketball and football and wrestling. He hopes to compete in the NFL and I think he can do it. In his free time, he plays Call of Duty. He has a YouTube channel onto which he uploads footage of him playing CoD and also original songs that he's made. He has two first names, but I've forgotten the second one. He is interesting and nice and humble and fit and he knows what he's doing in his life. He does things. I don't.

In conclusion, I do not, in fact, think you should let me into your college, or even into your state. Although, if I was there, you still probably wouldn't notice. Gotta look on the bright side. At least nobody cares.

Thank you, voiceless imaginary reader. Thank you for letting me vent. I need to go pretend to have three distinguishing or admirable qualities now. Bye.