Saturday, March 17, 2012

On dreams, conspiracies, and the definition of life

I have been meaning to do this post for quite some time now. It is about crazy insanity rooted from illogical logic. What fun! Let's start with conspiracies.
OK, so everyone knows that we live in what we call the universe, along with our friends and family and enemies and, occasionally, oppressing tyrannical rulers. However, do we really? When you think about it, it is entirely possible that everything in the universe is just one big coincidence. In fact, the only thing we can be sure of is our own conscience. Or can we? When you think about it, it is entirely possible that the rest of the human race is actually androids and I am the only real human. The thing is, I am 10000% sure that I have a conscience. However, to you, I might be just words on a screen. You have no way of knowing if I am just a really smart android programmed to react exactly like a human would in all situations. That means that I could very well be the only sentient being in the entire universe.(!!!)
On to the definition of life. Scientifically speaking, to be alive you have to have:

Homeostasis: Regulation of the internal environment to maintain a constant state; for example, electrolyte concentration or sweating to reduce temperature.    
Organization: Being structurally composed of one or more cells, which are the basic units of life.  Metabolism: Transformation of energy by converting chemicals and energy into cellular components (anabolism) and decomposing organic matter (catabolism). Living things require energy to maintain internal organization (homeostasis) and to produce the other phenomena associated with life.     
Growth: Maintenance of a higher rate of anabolism than catabolism. A growing organism increases in size in all of its parts, rather than simply accumulating matter.     
Adaptation: The ability to change over a period of time in response to the environment. This ability is fundamental to the process of evolution and is determined by the organism's heredity as well as the composition of metabolized substances, and external factors present.     
Response to stimuli: A response can take many forms, from the contraction of a unicellular organism to external chemicals, to complex reactions involving all the senses of multicellular organisms. A response is often expressed by motion, for example, the leaves of a plant turning toward the sun (phototropism) and bychemotaxis.     
Reproduction: The ability to produce new individual organisms, either asexually from a single parent organism, or sexually from two parent organisms.

But, when you think about it, all of these things are just reactions, moving a bundle of carbon and H2O. The only thing not relatively easy to explain with atoms and molecules is a conscience. Therefore, to be alive something has to be conscious. However, as stated before, a conscience cannot be measured so we can't know if something has a conscience or not. So it's up to us. The definition of life is something that feels alive.
Lastly, confessions. I know you're thinking "what about dreams?"The truth is, I need to tell you something to talk about the dreams. I would keep this a secret but, as far as I know, I will die tomorrow and never get to tell anybody. I have two invisible friends. 
The first is Sam, real name Kyle, originally Anthony, who transformed to look exactly like me and got psychic powers in a pool of nuclear waste (or maybe our powers were granted to us by a shaman, I can't remember). He uses his powers to do cool stuff, but the powers need to be amplified by microwaves in order to do anything (don't ask). The second is Lollipop, real name was Katia but maybe now Elise. She has super strength and speed, and I always manage to annoy her in some way. Then there's me, Chester. I can create and control any living thing that I want. I can also control the universe, since it is all in my head. 
The three of us, who can never decide on a name, save the universe from lots of stuff. And can enter any other universe at will. Be it movie, book, or video game, I can always find a way inside to do fun stuff. We came together around third-or-fourth grade on a secret mission in a dream that I can barely remember (something about a secret hotel and an evil organization called The Midnight Sun) and have been fooling around ever since.
We also have under-members of our society. Skateboard (an Integrated-Data-Whatever from another planet) and The-Girl-With-The-Wolf (a native american, probably Lakota, and a good hunter) you can probably remember from older posts about dreams. The other person is Kaylen from The Adventures and Misadventures of a 2nd grader (http://kidschooladventures.blogspot.com/), who is also psychic but doesn't need to have her power amplified by a toaster.
I also have another, almost unrelated story where I am a student at a magic school. The cool part about this is the other students go on with their lives without me with them. I am just a weird boy who phases in and out of existence to them.
Now to the actual dream part. 
We have finally started an adventure! We have planned tons of adventures with different characters, but this is the first time we actually started one! With school rumble, we are trying to find the cure to your brain on color, a strange disease that makes everything black or white. We are currently taking refuge in a library made out of blocks next to a murky river with gigantic-mouthed fishes living in it.

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