Monday, September 2, 2013
Friday, March 8, 2013
Fatal Flaw
I just had a hypothetical conversation with Vanyel. I had just asked him whether he had noticed a flaw in his plan. It went something like this:
"Of course I did. I think these things through a lot."
"Sorry. I wasn't sure if you had caught it. I don't think I would have."
"What do you mean? You just pointed it out to me."
"Yes, but I usually don't think the same way about things I've made. It's my Fatal Flaw"
"Your what?"
"Fatal Flaw. The one biggest flaw I have. You have one too."
"What is it?"
"You take everything negative somebody says to you as an insult, and you argue against it."
"What? I don't do that!"
"Not all of the time, but you did it right now, see?"
"That was-"
"Look, it's ok. I have one too, remember?"
"Now that I know my Fatal Flaw, shouldn't I just get rid of it?"
"No! If you cure your Fatal Flaw, what's the point of having a Fatal Flaw in the first place?"
"But aren't Fatal Flaws... you know... bad?"
"No. Your Fatal Flaw is there so that you can forget about it and solve your other flaws. It kinda soaks up the other flaws to become one big, looming flaw."
"And why not get rid of it, too?"
"Because the Fatal Flaw is the hardest to get rid of. It's in your bones, so to speak."
"I see. And is that all they do? Sit around getting bigger until you die?"
"No. You can also see other people more clearly after you've established their Fatal Flaw. Max's Fatal Flaw is that he depends too much on technology. Small Josh's is that he doesn't know the line between funny and annoying, the other Josh's is that he doesn't know the line between funny and insulting or painful. T-bo gets addicted too easily, Alex gets hooked on collecting things too easily, and they both want to share their interests with everybody. The list goes on."
"This conversation just took a rather dark turn."
"Well, the thing is, you can just blame most bad things they do on their Fatal Flaw and go on without feeling that they were mean to you or anything."
"So... what does that achieve?"
"It's a way to instantly forgive someone, and that is a very good skill to have."
"I see. Well, that was interesting."
"Yes, it was. Lunch is almost over."
"That's what I was about to say. Bye!"
"Bye!"
That never actually happened. I'm not brave enough to say things about my friends like that. That's why, every once in a while, I spill my guts out in my imagination. It actually helps. This is the first time I've told this to anybody else, though. Don't tell anyone.
"Of course I did. I think these things through a lot."
"Sorry. I wasn't sure if you had caught it. I don't think I would have."
"What do you mean? You just pointed it out to me."
"Yes, but I usually don't think the same way about things I've made. It's my Fatal Flaw"
"Your what?"
"Fatal Flaw. The one biggest flaw I have. You have one too."
"What is it?"
"You take everything negative somebody says to you as an insult, and you argue against it."
"What? I don't do that!"
"Not all of the time, but you did it right now, see?"
"That was-"
"Look, it's ok. I have one too, remember?"
"Now that I know my Fatal Flaw, shouldn't I just get rid of it?"
"No! If you cure your Fatal Flaw, what's the point of having a Fatal Flaw in the first place?"
"But aren't Fatal Flaws... you know... bad?"
"No. Your Fatal Flaw is there so that you can forget about it and solve your other flaws. It kinda soaks up the other flaws to become one big, looming flaw."
"And why not get rid of it, too?"
"Because the Fatal Flaw is the hardest to get rid of. It's in your bones, so to speak."
"I see. And is that all they do? Sit around getting bigger until you die?"
"No. You can also see other people more clearly after you've established their Fatal Flaw. Max's Fatal Flaw is that he depends too much on technology. Small Josh's is that he doesn't know the line between funny and annoying, the other Josh's is that he doesn't know the line between funny and insulting or painful. T-bo gets addicted too easily, Alex gets hooked on collecting things too easily, and they both want to share their interests with everybody. The list goes on."
"This conversation just took a rather dark turn."
"Well, the thing is, you can just blame most bad things they do on their Fatal Flaw and go on without feeling that they were mean to you or anything."
"So... what does that achieve?"
"It's a way to instantly forgive someone, and that is a very good skill to have."
"I see. Well, that was interesting."
"Yes, it was. Lunch is almost over."
"That's what I was about to say. Bye!"
"Bye!"
That never actually happened. I'm not brave enough to say things about my friends like that. That's why, every once in a while, I spill my guts out in my imagination. It actually helps. This is the first time I've told this to anybody else, though. Don't tell anyone.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
A Brief History of a Fictional Multiverse 1
For the past two years, my friends and I have been giving each other quests to go on and solving the quests. Eventually, we built up an entire universe of quests, overlapping and twisting together. Here is a brief summary of the universe so far:
In the beginning there nothing. Well, that wasn't strictly true. There were many gods and supreme beings, two of which were the DM (played by Vanyel) and his assistant (played by Max).Together they created the universe, starting with Earth and Mars (you might have heard of them). Vanyel populated the Earth with life, and Max started life on mars. There was also a freshly born DM (me) who had traveled there from the future and thus had the ability to travel in time.
On Earth there evolved two sentient forms of life: the Humans (guess who) and the Undead (like humans except when they died they could come back to life at sources of intense magic with Undead remains). For years they lived in peace (mostly because neither of them knew that the other existed,) but then the Humans decided they wanted more land, discovered the Undead, and bands of crusaders were "sent" to kill them or imprison them.
Among these crusaders was a crew that decided to camp out in a ruined temple to avoid the howling wind outside. In the morning, only one crusader was left (played by me) and, using his semi-existant alarm clock and his semi-existant iPhone*, he bravely made his way across the land and crashed into a canyon, where he made friends with a sea dragon, narrowly avoided being killed by the malevolent god E (played by E,) and obtained a fully-existant iPhone with non-exixtant knowledge of how to use it.
While fiddling around with the iPhone, he accidentally played Guile's theme and raised his awesomeness points to Like a Billion. He immediately gained glasses, an AK47-guitar, a fedora-bandana, and a pink-and-perrywinkle raptor that shot lasers out of it's mouth. Incidentally, the malevolent god E had trapped him in a time lock, and when he escaped* he appeared at the beginning of time as a DM. The sea dragon was taken to live on Mars along with a sea minotaur and cthulhu.
Meanwhile, unbeknownst (don't you love that word?) to the crusader, the first escape from the Zombie Prison (an asylum/prison for the Undead) in history was being accomplished. Through one thing or another, a band of five prisoners escaped with a fire glove, a golden door, and 20 mechanical rock crabs made by dwarves*. The prisoners then crossed a hazardous swamp, a town, and part of the potato-filled Void to reach a large castle. There, after one thing and another*, they invented electricity.
And so ends the first epoch of The Universe.
*Long story
In the beginning there nothing. Well, that wasn't strictly true. There were many gods and supreme beings, two of which were the DM (played by Vanyel) and his assistant (played by Max).Together they created the universe, starting with Earth and Mars (you might have heard of them). Vanyel populated the Earth with life, and Max started life on mars. There was also a freshly born DM (me) who had traveled there from the future and thus had the ability to travel in time.
On Earth there evolved two sentient forms of life: the Humans (guess who) and the Undead (like humans except when they died they could come back to life at sources of intense magic with Undead remains). For years they lived in peace (mostly because neither of them knew that the other existed,) but then the Humans decided they wanted more land, discovered the Undead, and bands of crusaders were "sent" to kill them or imprison them.
Among these crusaders was a crew that decided to camp out in a ruined temple to avoid the howling wind outside. In the morning, only one crusader was left (played by me) and, using his semi-existant alarm clock and his semi-existant iPhone*, he bravely made his way across the land and crashed into a canyon, where he made friends with a sea dragon, narrowly avoided being killed by the malevolent god E (played by E,) and obtained a fully-existant iPhone with non-exixtant knowledge of how to use it.
While fiddling around with the iPhone, he accidentally played Guile's theme and raised his awesomeness points to Like a Billion. He immediately gained glasses, an AK47-guitar, a fedora-bandana, and a pink-and-perrywinkle raptor that shot lasers out of it's mouth. Incidentally, the malevolent god E had trapped him in a time lock, and when he escaped* he appeared at the beginning of time as a DM. The sea dragon was taken to live on Mars along with a sea minotaur and cthulhu.
Meanwhile, unbeknownst (don't you love that word?) to the crusader, the first escape from the Zombie Prison (an asylum/prison for the Undead) in history was being accomplished. Through one thing or another, a band of five prisoners escaped with a fire glove, a golden door, and 20 mechanical rock crabs made by dwarves*. The prisoners then crossed a hazardous swamp, a town, and part of the potato-filled Void to reach a large castle. There, after one thing and another*, they invented electricity.
And so ends the first epoch of The Universe.
*Long story
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Winning
I won a race today.
Every year, CHOICE holds a boat race. This year, as an eighth grader, I got to build a boat and race against the other classes with the eight graders in my class.
Our boat was a piece of plywood on top of six empty water jugs. Then we put some PVC piping on the front and back, so that we could hold on and swim. We used a lot of duct tape and caulk to keep it together.
Unfortunately, the boat broke almost immediately. After most of the people had rotated on and off, one of the front PVC pipes fell off. As I was getting on, the back PVC also came loose. The rules stated that the entire boat had to come back to the beach, so I held the PVC pipes on the boat.
By this time, we were halfway to the halfway point and in fifth place. We swam over to and around the marker, telling ourselves that second place was within our grasp. We steadily made our way to fourth, then third.
Then a little something happened.
Alex, the relatively small (still bigger than me) boy who never stops talking about video games, started kicking furiously. we sped forward and came to the beach, in the full glory of second place.
First place went to Mr. Brown's class, who somehow found a way to make a wooden boat. They were finished ages before anyone else. Still, it was fun.
And therefore I win.
Every year, CHOICE holds a boat race. This year, as an eighth grader, I got to build a boat and race against the other classes with the eight graders in my class.
Our boat was a piece of plywood on top of six empty water jugs. Then we put some PVC piping on the front and back, so that we could hold on and swim. We used a lot of duct tape and caulk to keep it together.
Unfortunately, the boat broke almost immediately. After most of the people had rotated on and off, one of the front PVC pipes fell off. As I was getting on, the back PVC also came loose. The rules stated that the entire boat had to come back to the beach, so I held the PVC pipes on the boat.
By this time, we were halfway to the halfway point and in fifth place. We swam over to and around the marker, telling ourselves that second place was within our grasp. We steadily made our way to fourth, then third.
Then a little something happened.
Alex, the relatively small (still bigger than me) boy who never stops talking about video games, started kicking furiously. we sped forward and came to the beach, in the full glory of second place.
First place went to Mr. Brown's class, who somehow found a way to make a wooden boat. They were finished ages before anyone else. Still, it was fun.
And therefore I win.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
Dreamception 2
I had a totally wacky dreamz (Dreamz: Noun. Dreams with a z because they were so awezome. Awezome: adjective. Awesome with a z because it is so inceptiony (Inceptiony: adjective. When something is within something else three or more times. Example: These are parentheses within parentheses within parentheses!))) today. Now to tell them to the world by means of my blog!
Something happens with marshmallows, ice cream, and whipped cream. Can't remember exactly what it was. I wake up.
When I wake up I am in the future, which is obvious because everything is too shiny and too round. I get out of my round bet and go through a round door into a round room. I slip into a round chair and start playing a video game. The game was a designing game and I made some spaceships, a forest, some mountains, and a minecart track through the mountains.
Suddenly, I heard a CRASH from outside, and people screaming. I looked out my round window and saw a gigantic wave of water with a face that had just fallen from the sky rampaging through Sky City (as the city is now called because all the buildings are above the clouds). Just so you know, the city looks like this:
Exept there are clouds everywhere and it is all a little squashed. And, um, there is a GIANT WATER BEING FROM SPACE RAMPAGING THROUGH THE CITY!
The water being turned to my round sky house (the houses are the orbs on the towers) and roared. Then it started to seep through the windows. Terrified, I grabbed a round pencil and through it at the being. The being roared and turned around.
Since I don't have all day, here is the basic outline of what followed: after some life-risking tests we ascertained that the water was hurt by graphite, so we got everybody and made pencil guns and graphite grenades and an uber eraser tank. Then we totally owned the monster. Then I woke up.
This time someone shakes me awake and I am on some stairs. This is the boring part, I do an assignment with Avery and Blue and we totally own a school competition. I wake up again.
I get ready for school, and I get on the bus, and Mr. Brown gives us a BORING math test. I fall asleep almost immediately.
In my dream (I know this is all really complicated) I am back in my world that I made in the video game in the part of the dream with the water being. I do all sorts of stuff, eventually ending up with the whole mountain EXPLODING as I ride away in the minecart. When I run out of track I am in a snowy forest and a snail caravan approaches me. After some bargaining, I sell the diamond that I found (part of the long story where the mountain exploded) and they let me in. We travel until we reach a town. I wake up.
I yawn, see that everybody's leaving, and go home from school. I tell my dad to remind me to blog and fall asleep on the couch. I continue my dream in the video game, and end up chased by dragons across a long flat sheet of ice (another long story). A gigantinormimmenselephantitansivastoweringargantuaneverending (gigantic, enormous, immense, elephantine, titanic, massive, vast, towering, gargantuan, and never-ending all put together) dragon came bursting out of the ice and ate all the dragons that were after us. We leapt out of the ice and onto dry land just in time to find the treasure before it got buried in quicksand and return to the town in full glory. I woke up.
I stretched on the couch, yawned, and went downstairs to make this blog post. Then I woke up for real.
That was my single dream that I had last night. If you do the math, and you don't have to because I did, you find that I was in a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream. Huzzah! :) I love dreamceptions.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Viking Names
During our sushi dinner we came up with proper viking names in the style of How to Train Your Dragon.
Me: Andres the Small of the Crazy Loonigans, o Hear his Name and Laugh, ha ha
Mom: Eliany the Mom of the Crazy Loonigans, o Hear her Name and Don't Wipe Your Hands on Your Pants for the Last Time and I Really Mean it, sigh sigh
Dad: Snoozy the Snorer of the Crazy Loonigans, o Hear his Name and run for Fear of Being Eaten, nom nom
Lucia: Lucia the Hyper of the Crazy Loonigans, o Hear her Name and Make Sure Your Furniture is Securely Fastened, evacuate evacuate
Pity Pur: Pity el Purro the Spanish Conquistador, o Hear his Footsteps and Tremble, literally literally
Maggy Meou: Maggy the Fast From the Depths of the Jungle, o watch her run and hide, zoom zoom
That's it for the Crazy Loonigans & Friends, make your own name and post it in the comments.
Me: Andres the Small of the Crazy Loonigans, o Hear his Name and Laugh, ha ha
Mom: Eliany the Mom of the Crazy Loonigans, o Hear her Name and Don't Wipe Your Hands on Your Pants for the Last Time and I Really Mean it, sigh sigh
Dad: Snoozy the Snorer of the Crazy Loonigans, o Hear his Name and run for Fear of Being Eaten, nom nom
Lucia: Lucia the Hyper of the Crazy Loonigans, o Hear her Name and Make Sure Your Furniture is Securely Fastened, evacuate evacuate
Pity Pur: Pity el Purro the Spanish Conquistador, o Hear his Footsteps and Tremble, literally literally
Maggy Meou: Maggy the Fast From the Depths of the Jungle, o watch her run and hide, zoom zoom
That's it for the Crazy Loonigans & Friends, make your own name and post it in the comments.
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