Andres goes to Johns Hopkins

Johns Hopkins is a good school. It’s also the second stop on my tour of colleges. I was technically supposed to arrive on Tuesday and stay two nights, which caused some complications, but it’s all good.

So, after I wrote the previous blog post, I immediately fell asleep. I woke up at about 10:00 yesterday and went to Johns Hopkins with my dad. When I arrived, there was some confusion because I hadn’t checked in the day before, but after that was sorted out we were sat in front of some people who talked. I learned that there are 8 or 9 STEM education student groups, that you can text dining, and that you can go to PILOT for tutoring.

Then, dad and I separated, and I went to the “faculty spotlight.” This involved a madman trying to explain to us students how to properly open a short story. Apparently a good opening has a hook, introduces the characters (usually three), sets up the setting (usually vague or liminal), establishes the tone, and leads to the rest of the story. It was a fine lecture, if a bit barmy.

Then there was dinner, in which I met two interesting characters. One of them was named Richard, and the other I don’t know. Richard was an applied math major and the other one was a physics-math-engineering major. In retrospect, it’s pretty clear that they were not actually supposed to be in the program, but instead somehow got some SOHOP shirts and tried to blend in. They told me, among other things, that some of the vending machines are broken so you can get free drinks with any magnetic key card.

After dinner was the Hop Culture Show. I went with Alex, a boy whom I’d met during dinner. We had an excited discussion about relativity and quantum mechanics before the show started. The show itself was fabulous. Really, in my opinion, the highlight of the trip. There were so many acts, and quite a few were very polished. The Jaywalkers and Slam were my favorites.

After the show ended, I met my host for the night, Uhuru. He was very nice, especially considering I had stood him up the night before. He introduced me to Frankie (or maybe Freddie), the other person he was hosting. We stayed and attended a panel with a group of Hopkins students, who were mostly women of color. (By the way, I learned that they usually refer to the school as Hopkins rather than Johns Hopkins.) They did a pretty poor job of selling the school, explaining how the housing was bad and the people were dull. They seemed to love the school, though, mainly because of its academics. I'm reminded of what some girl said later that night, when I was walking east with Uhuru and his friends: "Come to Hopkins. It sucks but it's awesome."

The scheduled night ended with a party. There was cake and music and a bouncy obstacle course, and there were games which you could play to win prizes. I did not play any of the games. Instead, Uhuru and I (Frankie had vanished) got in line for the obstacle course. Uhuru introduced me to a lot of his friends, most of whom I’m sorry to say I have forgotten. The one that I do remember is Jake, from the far-off land of Britain, who was host for a boy named Glen. There was also another Jake, I think, because Jake was sometimes called British Jake. Anyways, Uhuru and I competed and the obstacle course and tied, which surprised both of us, because we had both expected the other to win. Because we tied, we got double the tickets, and after a friend of Uhuru’s gave me his tickets, I had enough to buy a new set of earphones. They are really high-quality earphones.

We left the party after a group picture (of Frankie, Uhuru and I) and a swindling operation (Richard had purchased a lot of tickets, the same kind as were being exchanged for prizes). We left for AMR1, the housing complex Uhuru lives in. It seemed like a tight-knit community, but it was also very welcoming. I liked it. Then we headed out with Jake and Glen (also in AMR1) for ice cream and a tour of the East side of campus. That was nice, but by this time it was past midnight, so I’m not sure how much I actually absorbed. Oh, hey, it’s after midnight again now. 12:04. I think I’m getting used to it.

Anyways, I was tired and we all headed back to the dorms. Frankie was already asleep, because he needed to leave at 4:00 in the morning (!). Noticing that I did not have a sleeping bag, Uhuru graciously offered me the “guest bed,” which was a mattress and blanket rigged up under his bed. I accepted, and slept.

The next day, I woke up late enough to miss breakfast. Fortunately, this gave me just the spark that I needed to hashtag my breakfast for the first time. Don’t ask. Anyways, there was a welcome that I almost listened to, and then we split up for academic presentations. I went to the math one, and dad went to the physics one. The math one was pretty underwhelming, and I got the sense that math was almost exclusively used as something to supplement another major. 60% of students in math were also doing something else. Physics, on the other hand, was apparently amazing. They had handouts, first of all, and they also have opportunities with NASA and space and stuff. It’s enough to make me wish I was a physicist.

Then, after a quick lunch, we went on some outside-the-classroom tours. Dad and I went on four: the science building was really cool (biochem get to make their own proteins!), the aquatic robots were really cool, the non-aquatic robots were really cool, and the filming building was really cool. A dude named Brian showed us around that building, and he was really enthusiastic. Hopkins is definitely a cool place to be.

However, that was it for dad and I. We packed up and drove for 5 hours to New Haven, where I am now. We went alphabetically through my songs, and got from A Little Bit of Everything all the way to Champagne Taste. A while later and I’m here. As a final thought, I’d like to leave my response to the survey Hopkins sent me, in which I told them that I definitely won’t be going to Hopkins, because I definitely won’t. Take it away, me.

“Look, it's a wonderful place. I just don't think it fits me. I don't like the whole vibe of see-sawing between working a lot and not caring. I've done that enough. If I was planning on doing research, or becoming an engineer, then I think my decision would be different. But I'm not, so it isn't. Another factor is that it doesn't seem like Hopkins has a particularly strong program for pure math. Math seems to mostly be used to accentuate other majors, like physics or engineering. As an aspiring mathematician, who is also interested in physics but not as much, it didn't really stand out to me. Again, this is a personal problem. I wish you guys the best.”